Backtracking: January 30th-February 14th

Remember that time I promised to 'continue tomorrow' only to bail like a bad, deceiving date? Yeah, I apologize. Please take me back and grasp onto my good qualities after reaching past my less desirable (unreliable?) qualities. Where was I? Oh yes, once upon a clinic day...

First off, I barely made it to clinic day. After arriving home Sunday night I replayed the morning in my head: the blood, the struggle to breath, the unbelievable feeling of helplessness coupled with  not being able to talk (again--keeping in mind that my voice is my most prized possession) all led me to an internal panic. Internal panic could only stay that way for so long before it was externalized and I wanted to phone the on call doc... BUT I knew they would only tell me to come to (germy) emerg and I opted to wait it out for two more days--48 hrs until I'd have my answers.