Today was my first day back to University in half a year. Back in December I started IV’s literally a couple days after my last exam of the first semester. I was pretty confident I would be off them and able to return by the start of our second semester in January. However, that was not the case and what started as “holiday IVs” turned into “I’ll be back soon IVs” and finally “extended leave IVs”. Even when I was in the hospital with daily fevers, hooked up to 24/7 oxygen and unable to eat, I was still pretty confident I could go back... that really sounds delusional now, doesn’t it?

As the weeks wore on in club med, I got the message my body was clearly trying to tell me: Time to take a break Lindsay!

I dropped the majority of my courses, but was still able to complete half of one via e-mail (the instructor is allowing me to continue the other half of the course this semester... it was pretty impossible to report on Guelph-Humber news from my bedside) and I was able to complete Statistics for Media.

GH Comeback
Now I am officially “back” with some minor adjustments. I decided to drop to part-time studies since I now have to wait an extra year to graduate anyway. This will allow me more time to do things I should be doing like working out. I will say though, this has been difficult for me as I feel quite capable of taking on a full load. But as is usually the case, what you want and what you need are different things.

Although it hasn’t even been a full year since I took my partial leave from school, it felt a little surreal to return. I received the mighty reality pinch when I was reminded that even though your world comes to a stop when you are cuffed to an IV machine, the rest of the world doesn’t lose its forward momentum. Unfortunately I have been mulling over this fact for a while now, usually things don’t bother me too much and I am able to take things in stride. But the fact that I was able to keep up in school all these years and suddenly not be able to is a little crushing. There is a buzz among the fourth year students who are excited to be finishing up and starting their lives (or moving on to the next phase of continuing education) and I have fallen behind the pack. I am used to being a front runner and I don’t really enjoy the rear view--okay, unless we're talking about James Franco.

I’m also a little worried that the finish line is getting pushed further and further back--so I hope it doesn’t fall out of site. I’m not trying to win a race, I just want to finish it! So let’s cross our fingers and hope that a silly little cold or chest exacerbation doesn’t trip me over the next year and a half. The final stretch is where all the sweat, tears and glory emerge.

Finding your Pace
Furthermore, I am contemplating--and seriously considering--applying for our professor’s (Mark Lipton) internship. I’m not sure if this is completely defeating the purpose of dropping down to part-time studies, but it is an opportunity and I rarely walk away from opportunities.

Admittedly, I have a tendency to dive into things, especially after sitting on the sidelines for such a long period of time. When you’ve been sick and made to feel useless, the second you feel better you want to break into a sprint before the pseudomonas (a bacteria I grow in my lungs) police can catch up. I guess the problem here is I need to learn to pace myself, but it is just so hard!

Especially when you are young with so many opportunities and more awareness than the average person (or so I assume) that time is not limitless.

So should I go for it all or be conservative and hold back? The jury is still out (the jury being the voices in my head). My mind is saying yes, but who knows what my lungs will think about this!